Husband Asked If He Finds Wife Boring After 10 Years Drops Bombshell That Has Internet Fired Up
FaithTap Staff 1/7/2019
Part of the traditional marriage vows includes "until death do us part." This line emphasizes that marriage is an important commitment that's meant to be lifelong. The difference between marriage and dating is that the former is supposed to be between two people who are willing to stick it out through good and bad until the end.
In a world that's obsessed with consumerism, where people are all about "me, myself, and I," seeing a long-lasting marriage in the new generation can be surprising. One dad blogger received a question on whether he found his wife boring after being married to her for so long. His answer resonated with couples everywhere.
The dad blogger, who goes by "DadMum" on Facebook, started his answer by saying that he and his wife have been together for a decade. He openly admitted that after ten long years together with kids the days sometimes felt long and stressful. Things weren't as fun as they once were.
Yesterday I got a message asking if I felt unhappy with the monotony of everyday life in a longstanding relationship. If my wife has gotten a bit boring over time and how I've adapted to that or if I'm still expecting more from her. You know... to be more exciting or fun loving .... Well here's the thing...
He said that the days would roll into weeks and months, with both him and his wife knee-deep in child-rearing duties. DadMum further shared the things that his wife no longer did that were once fun and exciting:
After ten years a lot of our days can feel the same. They're easily lost in the weeks into the months into the years. But that doesn't mean they're monotonous. It just means we have a lot of things going on right now. She doesn't jump my bones at any chance she gets; and she's not exactly the promiscuous 18 year old that once wooed me at a party.... And yes, she can be a little more tired and snappy nowadays."
For those with unrealistic expectations of marriage, DadMum's initial answer might throw them off. But the blogger emphasized that all these things doesn't make his wife boring. It just means that now she has more important responsibilities that are a priority. He also stressed that his wife is still the "fun-loving chick" that he knew.
He also emphasized the importance of being a partner to your spouse. It takes two to tango as the saying goes. Marriage is no exception. The burden of making the relationship work doesn't just rely on one person. Both partners have to help one another and be able to depend on one another when the going gets tough.
DadMum had some very real advice for the one who sent the question. He didn't sugarcoat anything. In fact, he revealed the most basic thing about marriage and life -- that things change.
"You can't expect things to never change in a relationship. Because they do. As time goes on [expletive] becomes a little less fairytale and a little more life. If she's stressed, try to take more of the load from her. If she's tired, let her rest. If she's anxious, tell her she's doing a great job and if she's insecure, tell her you love her more than you ever did."
He also wrote that it wasn't about falling in love just once and remaining in that bubble of love for the rest of your lives together. No! DadMum made it clear that people change, and so will relationships.
It's not about falling in love once and riding that out until the end of your days. It's not about judging them against who they used to be. It's about growing together and finding new reasons to fall in love all over again. But one thing's for sure... don't for one second think it's all on her to make things better or more exciting. You can't expect her to act like a princess if she's treated like a slave. Let her know you're in it together. It's up to both of us to keep the spark going!I think she's all right.
That's why, in successful marriages, partners "grow together and find new reasons to fall in love all over again." It's about working together to overcome challenges.
Finally, he finished his post with a very simple answer: "I think she's all right." This loving husband fully resonates that love is more than a feeling it is also a choice. His words of advice have gained nearly 250,000 shares and is hitting home with spouses around the world.